An obituary is more than just an announcement of a loved one’s passing—it’s an opportunity to celebrate their life, character, and the impact they had on others. Capturing the essence of someone’s life story through an obituary can be deeply meaningful for both the writer and those who read it. This guide will walk you through how to write an obituary that is both personal and heartfelt, ensuring that your loved one’s story is preserved for years to come.
The Importance of Personal Touches in an Obituary
Writing an obituary with personal touches helps to convey the uniqueness of the individual and their life journey. It can be easy to fall back on generic phrases, but a personal touch can provide comfort, laughter, or a poignant memory for readers. A thoughtful obituary:
- Honors the memory of a loved one and preserves it for future generations.
- Celebrates life, emphasizing the impact of their achievements and the joy they brought to others.
- Provides closure to friends and family, turning grief into a celebration of a life well-lived.
An obituary that feels personalized and genuine offers a sense of connection, allowing others to remember the deceased in a special and uplifting way.
Key Elements of an Obituary with a Personal Touch
Crafting a memorable obituary requires attention to detail and careful selection of the elements that made the person unique. Here are the primary components to consider when learning how to write an obituary with a personal touch:
1. Start with Basic Information
The opening of the obituary should include the essential details to inform readers of the passing, such as:
- Full name (and any preferred nicknames).
- Date and place of birth.
- Date and place of passing.
Including this basic information at the start sets a respectful and informative tone, ensuring that readers immediately know who is being honored.
2. A Brief Overview of Their Life Story
Capture the essence of their life by summarizing their journey, but be careful to keep it concise. Think about including:
- Family background: Relationships with family members and close friends.
- Career achievements: Positions held, career highlights, or accomplishments in their field.
- Educational background: Schools, degrees, or scholarships that were significant.
This section gives a broad view of their life, setting up for the more personal touches to come.
3. Highlighting Passions and Hobbies
An obituary that mentions passions, hobbies, or favorite activities can bring the loved one’s character to life for readers. This could include:
- Hobbies: Gardening, painting, traveling, or cooking.
- Passions: Causes they supported, volunteer work, or charities they contributed to.
- Community Involvement: Any clubs, organizations, or groups they were active in.
For instance, instead of simply stating “They enjoyed gardening,” add some color by saying, “Their garden was their sanctuary, and they took pride in sharing homegrown vegetables and flowers with neighbors and friends.”
4. Describing Their Unique Personality
Character traits make an obituary truly personal. Think about how others would describe them:
- Personality traits: Warm, generous, humorous, resilient, or compassionate.
- Beliefs and values: Faith, kindness, loyalty, or adventurous spirit.
- Enduring impact: How they influenced or inspired those around them.
Consider adding specific anecdotes that capture their character, like “She had an infectious laugh that could light up any room” or “His patience and guidance touched the lives of countless young people.”
5. Sharing Memorable Stories and Anecdotes
Including one or two short, memorable stories can make the obituary feel like a loving tribute. These could be:
- Humorous moments: Something funny they were known for or a family joke.
- Kind deeds: How they showed kindness or helped others in times of need.
- Family traditions: Special holidays, customs, or family activities that they cherished.
These stories add warmth and depth, allowing readers to remember the deceased with a smile.
6. Mentioning Surviving Family Members
Listing surviving family members is a traditional part of an obituary but can also be personalized. Typically, this includes:
- Immediate family: Spouse, children, parents, and siblings.
- Extended family: Grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and close friends, if appropriate.
For example, instead of listing names, you might say, “John is survived by his beloved wife, Sarah, his two daughters who adored him, Emily and Caroline, and his faithful dog, Max.”
7. Information About the Funeral or Memorial Service
End the obituary with details about the service, providing readers with the opportunity to honor the deceased:
- Date, time, and location of the service or memorial.
- Special requests: If the family prefers donations to a specific charity in lieu of flowers, include that information here.
- Virtual attendance: In today’s digital age, families sometimes offer virtual attendance options, which can be mentioned if applicable.
This information allows those who wish to pay their respects to know how they can participate.
Step-by-Step Guide to Writing a Personal Obituary
Step 1: Reflect on Their Life and Legacy
Begin by taking time to reflect on the individual’s life. Ask yourself:
- What are the characteristics or moments that truly define them?
- How did they make others feel? What legacy did they leave behind?
- Are there any specific stories that highlight who they were?
This process will help you focus on the most meaningful aspects of their life, ensuring that the obituary reflects their unique personality.
Step 2: Create an Outline
An outline helps to organize thoughts and ensures all necessary details are included. A standard outline for how to write an obituary might look like this:
- Opening: Full name, dates, and places.
- Family and life journey: Background, career, education.
- Passions and personality: Hobbies, traits, and values.
- Memorable moments: Special anecdotes or unique memories.
- Funeral arrangements: Service information and special requests.
Step 3: Write in a Natural, Conversational Tone
To make the obituary feel personal, write as if you’re sharing the story with someone close to you. Avoid overly formal language and use words that capture the individual’s warmth and personality.
For example, “He was a quiet but witty man who found joy in life’s small moments,” feels warmer than “He was a reserved individual who liked to laugh.”
Step 4: Proofread and Gather Input from Family
Review the obituary carefully to avoid errors. You may also wish to involve family members in the process:
- Ask for feedback on specific details or anecdotes.
- Verify spellings of names and places to ensure accuracy.
- Ensure that it reflects the loved one’s life and personality authentically.
Involving family can make the obituary writing process more collaborative, which can be a bonding and healing experience.
Step 5: Choose an Appropriate Publication Method
Consider where to publish the obituary:
- Newspapers: Many people still appreciate seeing obituaries in local newspapers.
- Funeral home websites: These are easy to access for people within the community.
- Social media: Sharing on social media helps reach friends and family from all over the world.
Each platform offers a different reach, so consider where it will have the most meaningful impact.
Common Obituary Writing Mistakes to Avoid
To ensure the obituary reads well and honors the person respectfully, avoid these common pitfalls:
1. Being Too Generic
Phrases like “He was loved by everyone” don’t capture the unique personality of the deceased. Instead, provide specific details that highlight their individuality.
2. Omitting Important Details
Missing names, dates, or service information can create confusion. Double-check to ensure that all critical information is included.
3. Overloading with Too Many Details
Although it’s tempting to share everything, keep the obituary concise. Focus on the highlights and save other stories for personal conversations or memorial speeches.
Honoring Legacy Through Thoughtful Words
An obituary with personal touches can be a meaningful tribute that captures the essence of a loved one’s life. When thoughtfully crafted, it can be a source of comfort for those grieving and a celebration of the individual’s legacy. Remember that how to write an obituary is about sharing the story in a way that honors and respects the life of the person, celebrating their journey and the memories they leave behind. Whether through cherished stories, heartfelt descriptions, or special acknowledgments, a personalized obituary is a beautiful way to keep the spirit of a loved one alive in memory.